I feel so sleepy now. Eight (8) years ago I remember I was insomiac. I could not sleep not unless it's 7am. What I would do was paint and paint and paint.
Now, my body clock has always been prompt in telling me I am sleepy. It usually calls for rest at 9pm, but I woould stay longer especially now that I've learned blogging and reaching some targets.
So, I am signing off now and rest. Until tomorrow!
Tonight at Toastmasters Club of Macajalar Bay
Tonight at Mezzanine of VIP Hotel, the TM Club of Macajalar Bay shall gather on the theme "Water is Life". I am a bit uptight because I'm pretty sure I will be called for Table Topics. Table topics give each member the opportunity to develop quick thinking and speaking skills.
I just saw the possible program flow. It seems like every position is filled already, yet I am pretty sure I will be the ahh counter tonight.
I hope I will be able to think and speak well.
I thank God because He chose me.
I became a Christian when i was 13 years old. I simply happened to pass by a fellowship center. I don't know what brought me in. I just simply got in. hehehehe..Indeed, it was Him who chose me. Then, I came back and came back again, and again until i grew older.
The Lord blessed me a lot since then. School days weren't meaningful without Him. I graduated colorfully both high school and college because of Him giving me answers, thoughts, and better memory. Had i been too consistent and responsible as a student, i would have graduated cum laude or better. Anyways, He still gave me 3 special awards even then. I am the person who loves hanging out with friends rather than school. hehehehe... I love the computer, too, than classes. I love meaningful and interactive activities than a simple classroom setting; that was why, I made my teacher cry.
"Sorry Ma'am if I chose the debate tournament than your midterm exam. I was thinking I will be excused since I represented the college," I once explained.
She replied, "because of what you've done, you will not graduate this march!!"
(I nearly cried. I looked up and held my tears.)
"Is there any chance for me to get a final grade of 3.0 ma'am?" I asked.
"Unless, you perfect the final exam." She said.
So, I went back to the dormitory and talked to my God. I told Him how sorry I was for displeasing my teacher. Then I became the word of the department of philosophy. I was even told by my favorite professor, "I never really thought that you are that irresponsible Roxanne!!"
I am so sorry, Lord!
Anyway, God loves me enough to rescue me. As always, God is my strength, my refuge, and my everything.
So, He taught me what to do and how to project myself before every one. God taught me humility and everything. He did not just do that, He blessed my final examination with more that a perfect score because He made me able to answer everything up to the bonus questions. So, my teacher was so pleased that she wrote a long note on my paper and the only line I remember is, "Roxanne, you'll not just become a woman of knowledge, but a woman of wisdom."
Before graduation day, she told me that I don't deserve a grade of 3.0 that was why she gave me 2.75. She said, it was hard for her to submit that grade to the registrar but she has to so that every student may learn from my mistake aside from me learning from it.
God has extended me tooooooo many favors. I couldn't count. This is the reason why I always ask Him, "what do you really want me to do Lord?" I know from my experiences that He chose me, so specially, to do a special task.
And, by the way, His word truly lives. Whenever I'm confused of a certain decision, He have me go back to Ezekiel, to my (I call it) "calling chapter". Hmmmm.. not really confused, but, there's just something that moves me to go back. It's like I am being shaken so to read the verses again that I may realize something. True enough! This is the reason why I am sure that I am not for thailand. His word said, i am not going to send you to a people of obscure and difficult language whose words you find it hard to understand. hhhmmm.. just in time! Because at that time, I was learning the Thai language over the internet.. hahahahaha.. I was excited then.
Later, I have stepped on my life's grey areas that I was so so confused that I decided to join the VSO. I knew in my heart that God will do something so that I will not be able to leave the Philippines. He might hold my visa or lost my documents along the way. hahahaha.. I just grabbed the VSO training at IRRI with all expenses paid. hehehehe.. Indeed, a tragedy at home happened that I needed to stay. Mama attacked from stroke. Even then, God made me stood still. He was always beside me, beside us, and He provided us all our needs. He brought me to a lot of realizations, as in a lot. I got tired. Yes, I was. Yet, still! I asked God, "what is there before me, Lord, that I needed to go through these things? Anything special again, Lord?"
God answered after 5 months. Opportunities came. MSU Philo Dep't invited me to join them. I entertained it. I applied. However, God impressed me again to go back to Ezekiel, to my "calling chapters". There, He said literally, "go home to your nation in exile, beside the river of (i forgot what river was that) ..." I was on my way to MSU with my bestfriend while reading the verses. I read it before her so she became the witness of what God wants me to do.
I did obey God knowing that if He says "no" He has something better and has something that I love to do. "And, what do I have to do in Cagayan de Oro, Lord?" I asked.
Suprisingly, my bestfriend told me while visiting Xavier University's website that the school needed a program assistant for its Student Activities and Leadership Development Program. She told me that she sees me in it vis-a-vis the calling. I refused knowing that it is Xavier, besides, I am not a graduate of this institution. Still, she pushed me like she's confident that that's the one God wants me to do. hahahahahah... we nearly quarrelled. hehehe.. At the outset, I was convinced. I applied. I was Interviewed.
And, all I can say is, GOD CHOSE ME! And, indeed, I can see myself in the job. So, bless me, Lord.
I became a Christian when i was 13 years old. I simply happened to pass by a fellowship center. I don't know what brought me in. I just simply got in. hehehehe..Indeed, it was Him who chose me. Then, I came back and came back again, and again until i grew older.
The Lord blessed me a lot since then. School days weren't meaningful without Him. I graduated colorfully both high school and college because of Him giving me answers, thoughts, and better memory. Had i been too consistent and responsible as a student, i would have graduated cum laude or better. Anyways, He still gave me 3 special awards even then. I am the person who loves hanging out with friends rather than school. hehehehe... I love the computer, too, than classes. I love meaningful and interactive activities than a simple classroom setting; that was why, I made my teacher cry.
"Sorry Ma'am if I chose the debate tournament than your midterm exam. I was thinking I will be excused since I represented the college," I once explained.
She replied, "because of what you've done, you will not graduate this march!!"
(I nearly cried. I looked up and held my tears.)
"Is there any chance for me to get a final grade of 3.0 ma'am?" I asked.
"Unless, you perfect the final exam." She said.
So, I went back to the dormitory and talked to my God. I told Him how sorry I was for displeasing my teacher. Then I became the word of the department of philosophy. I was even told by my favorite professor, "I never really thought that you are that irresponsible Roxanne!!"
I am so sorry, Lord!
Anyway, God loves me enough to rescue me. As always, God is my strength, my refuge, and my everything.
So, He taught me what to do and how to project myself before every one. God taught me humility and everything. He did not just do that, He blessed my final examination with more that a perfect score because He made me able to answer everything up to the bonus questions. So, my teacher was so pleased that she wrote a long note on my paper and the only line I remember is, "Roxanne, you'll not just become a woman of knowledge, but a woman of wisdom."
Before graduation day, she told me that I don't deserve a grade of 3.0 that was why she gave me 2.75. She said, it was hard for her to submit that grade to the registrar but she has to so that every student may learn from my mistake aside from me learning from it.
God has extended me tooooooo many favors. I couldn't count. This is the reason why I always ask Him, "what do you really want me to do Lord?" I know from my experiences that He chose me, so specially, to do a special task.
And, by the way, His word truly lives. Whenever I'm confused of a certain decision, He have me go back to Ezekiel, to my (I call it) "calling chapter". Hmmmm.. not really confused, but, there's just something that moves me to go back. It's like I am being shaken so to read the verses again that I may realize something. True enough! This is the reason why I am sure that I am not for thailand. His word said, i am not going to send you to a people of obscure and difficult language whose words you find it hard to understand. hhhmmm.. just in time! Because at that time, I was learning the Thai language over the internet.. hahahahaha.. I was excited then.
Later, I have stepped on my life's grey areas that I was so so confused that I decided to join the VSO. I knew in my heart that God will do something so that I will not be able to leave the Philippines. He might hold my visa or lost my documents along the way. hahahaha.. I just grabbed the VSO training at IRRI with all expenses paid. hehehehe.. Indeed, a tragedy at home happened that I needed to stay. Mama attacked from stroke. Even then, God made me stood still. He was always beside me, beside us, and He provided us all our needs. He brought me to a lot of realizations, as in a lot. I got tired. Yes, I was. Yet, still! I asked God, "what is there before me, Lord, that I needed to go through these things? Anything special again, Lord?"
God answered after 5 months. Opportunities came. MSU Philo Dep't invited me to join them. I entertained it. I applied. However, God impressed me again to go back to Ezekiel, to my "calling chapters". There, He said literally, "go home to your nation in exile, beside the river of (i forgot what river was that) ..." I was on my way to MSU with my bestfriend while reading the verses. I read it before her so she became the witness of what God wants me to do.
I did obey God knowing that if He says "no" He has something better and has something that I love to do. "And, what do I have to do in Cagayan de Oro, Lord?" I asked.
Suprisingly, my bestfriend told me while visiting Xavier University's website that the school needed a program assistant for its Student Activities and Leadership Development Program. She told me that she sees me in it vis-a-vis the calling. I refused knowing that it is Xavier, besides, I am not a graduate of this institution. Still, she pushed me like she's confident that that's the one God wants me to do. hahahahahah... we nearly quarrelled. hehehe.. At the outset, I was convinced. I applied. I was Interviewed.
And, all I can say is, GOD CHOSE ME! And, indeed, I can see myself in the job. So, bless me, Lord.
When It Rains
It’s been raining these days and I don’t like it pour any longer; one, because it affects the bearing of mango trees in our farm. We don’t want to lose of course. Two, though I don’t like the hot of sunny days, it’s worse going out of the house when the rain doesn’t stop or pours even harder. It gets me wet no matter how my petite physique hides under an umbrella and I can’t get off from dirt that gets into my pants and my shoes, perhaps I just don’t know how to carry myself under the rain..hahahaha
I don’t know how it came into my system that every time it rains, I just can’t define my mood. I remember nothing but the loneliness I felt when I was 4. I wasn’t schooling yet then or I am not so sure if it was school days. I don’t even remember why of the 4 kids (pepet wasn’t born yet) I was the only one left. It must have been Docky and me if it was school days or perhaps, mama brought him to school because he was a very friendly, always smiling, jolly and jovial kid. Probably, it wasn’t summer because ate keket and kuya kokot weren’t there to play with me. I was left home with our manangs.
Strong rains were not inviting without my siblings to play with under the rain. Although we had our neighbors, but I was shy enough to invite them out. I was an introverted, bashful girl. I think I have developed confidence when I was 6, when our teacher in kindergarten asked us to read ABAKADAs and its sorts on the board and gladly, I made it excellently. It was nice knowing that I have an edge from my classmates. Hehehhe… Anyway, at 4, I didn’t have the talent of bringing our neighboring kids out to the rain. I wasn’t as friendly as ate keket. She was very smart, chatty, and very friendly. All our neighbors, young and old, couldn’t resist her cute and invented stories as well as her very inquisitive and “prophetic” personality. I always enjoy the rain with her and kuya. Both of them were playful enough to lead us and our neighbors to gira-gira, pusil-pusil, tago-tago or tibon-tibon or pinpin de sarapin, ps-ps, jolin, skipping rope, takyan, libon-libon, patintero, langit-lupa, balay-balay, bal-bal bal-bal, bahug-bahug, kon dise kum buko, chinese, halap-halap, 77 up, chinelas lata, tarak-tarak, exhibition sa ligid, taksi , among others, rain or shine. <
Today’s rain fiercely dropped as it did when I was 4 and I feel the same degree of loneliness. Indeed, we’ve grown a lot older now and we are at an almost infinite distance away from each other, except with pepet, who is just 7 kilometers away, and docky, who is just two deep seas away. I don’t want to see the rain because all the more I would miss them. Surely, this loneliness will get more intense that I could burst in tears. Yet, I need to be strong. I need to be firm before everyone here in the house. Likewise, I need to grow a healthy paradigm out of the rain so that when it pours the hardest, I could enjoy it fall on my own.
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