Wedding Invitation

A glimpse of our creativity:




Date: November 29, 2009, 3:30 PM
Venue: Harbor Lights Hotel, CDO
Attire: Formal







In Melancholy

Today is October 29, 2009. One month from now, I will no longer be in this stage of life. I remember many many years and even few years back, I thought that I am in no doubt ready to enter marriage. However, just 20 minutes ago, while under the hot shower, it seemed like I could hear every drop of water, counting... After some time, I could already hear the blood in my veins, pumping, tig dig tig dig tig dig.. Then, melancholy.
As my melancholic temper began, entered in the artist. This has always been my way of expressing the SELF.
As regards the wedding, I planned to having something like the following pictures:
























































Future Scuba Diving

I am so excited now. This afternoon I met my second degree cousin who works in the city government of Gingoog, Misamis Oriental. After a month of working for Project ELCEMM here, our ways finally met and fortunately, she is a nature lover like me. In fact, she has gone much farther than I had. The best thing she does that really interests me is her being a scuba diving teacher. woohh!! yeah! Of course, hindi ko na pinalampas ang opportunity, I grabbed it immediately by asking how may I avail of it and how much. She replied by saying depende sa heart (depends on how I feel). She told me that she has awesome and interesting photographs at her home. Interesting!!! She said she has four set of diving gears as well. What surprised and excited me a lot was when she said she will teach me for free! woohh yeah!! YES FOR FREE!!! FOR FREE!
Scuba Diving

I am too excited now that I cant wait to set some schedules with her and purchase my own set of gears after some few lessons from our meetings. I am excited to see photographs of myself around fishes, corals, and other aquatic lives. I asked her if she has seen a sting ray, she had! wooww!! Which means that I will have my own score with them in the near future as well, and might even see manta rays, underwater forests, and even flowers. Isn't it exciting right?
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Happy Birthday Ate Mayette

Today is the natal day of this very passionate woman of God.
She's a woman who not only cares a lot for her family, but her neighbors as well.
God has truly blessed her with wisdom and strategies in reaching them out and of touching their lives.
Ate Mayette, as we call her, came from a family of generous hearts. One activity I know of that they often do as a family is gift giving. Take note, they don't just do this during Christmas time. They give gifts whenever they are convicted to do so. In fact, when their place was hit by this year's great flood, where their stuffs just went to nowhere, they were still giving out gifts to their neighbors who were not so affected by the calamity. Amazing! By doing so, God has blessed them more and more.
By the way, Ate Mayette is married to Kuya Manny. They are blessed with two very attractive kids, Z-boy and Z-girl (Zane). This couple have good genes, right?
I had the chance to be here because my bedmate in college, Lucilia Adorable Trinidad, works with speaker Prospero Nograles. It was such a great opportunity afforded to me by luce. Likewise, I so appreciate the angles and the subjects she included in these photographs.

Driving Home My Bosses

It was raining a little bit harder 7 hours ago, so I had the privilege to drive my bosses to their home locations. At first it was Kuya Joseph Labrador, the Project's Field Coordinator, who thought of taking a hitch by my brother's multicab (which I drive), but then he invited our Japanese boss, Mr. USUI Shunji, and Ms. Catherine Fonollera, the PPDO Consultant. I nearly said "NO" because I know I would be tensed driving with them in the car, however, saying so would be the most inappropriate of all responses and I think that would be too rude of me considering that it was raining, as I said, a little bit harder. Of course, I took the courage of driving for them and the privilege to bring them in their current addresses.

After having sent all of them, I felt glad with the opportunity and so happy with it. It was my first time to drive with a foreigner, a Japanese boss beside me, and 2 Filipino bosses at the back. I didn't quite understand the feeling while maneuvering the steering wheel, stepping on the pads, and changing gears. I don't even know why, yet, one thing for sure, I fixed my head on the road. hahahahah..

It's a rare opportunity and I don't even know when will it ever happen again. hehehe

Photography 0409

Looks primitive, but, that's reality. Although rice cookers and pressure cookers are quite widespread in the Philippines, still there are so much who depend on this huge kettle especially during fiestas, community meetings among other big events in barrios and still in most barangays.

Despite the laborious process of cooking in this stuff, still many would resort to it because it saves electricity or kerosene gas. A lot! One just have to have 3 big stones to form a tripod for the kettle to stand on, some wood as fuel, and then a lighter to initiate the fire and start cooking. That's too simple; but then if one doesn't know the composition of "fire", he will unfortunately be blowing and blowing all over again to keep the fire on.

Photography

This photo is taken by Ms. Catherine Fonollera, a consultant of the Provincial Planning and Development Office for the Project ELCEMM. We happened to be not just partners in the project but cohorts as well of photography.

In this position, I was capturing a better angle of the sunset at Duka Bay without me knowing that Ms. Cathy as well was taking a better angle of me. hehehehe

Photography has long been my passion. It is my way of bringing into the world a certain added level of consciousness to what you and other people may not be conscious or aware of. Realities that could be best examples of figures of speech in english classes or perhaps better topics for aesthetical and metaphysical discussions.

Except for this site's background, I don't edit pictures to enhance effects or whatever. I don't even have some light effects in taking them. I took pictures in its natural state and post or feature them as they are in order to convey it's exact message.

We all have different preferences and purposes in photography; different levels of passion and standards of perfection as well. My photographs are unique amplifications of my thoughts - deep thoughts. Thus, I always see to it that they are captured in ways that best ensembles whatever philosophical panorama in mind. By saying "philosophical", it covers beliefs, principles, attitudes, and everything.

Duka Bay

Two days ago, I joined JICA team among the LGUs of the Municipality of Alubijid and Gingoog City in an educational tour. The 2-day activity was spent sharing of knowledge, skills, experiences, learnings, and insights. We spent out night at Duka Bay.
I had been to Duka Bay 5 years ago by an ambush invitation of a friend who wanted to get some refreshment. She took me there, had some walking, chit chatting, and went back home. That experience gave me the idea how nice Duka Bay is, although I wasn't able to bathe in their white sand beaches, not even a ride over their rich aquatic resources. This time, for the second time around, still somewhat like an ambush stay at Duka Bay because all the while I was thinking that we'd be staying in some hotels in Gingoog City. Anyhow, I felt so privileged again to be in Duka Bay, eat and sleep their. Again, I did not bathe in the white sand beaches because I didn't bring any swimming wear, not even some short pants. Somehow, I was, in confidence, thinking that opportunities of getting wet and fully enjoy Duka Bay are at hand especially that I will finally join JICA team this May. I am so sure that I'd be going to Gingoog very often, which means to say that I would have many chances to immerse myself in this bay and even get all the details about the place.
Anyways, here are some scenes of the bay. I did satisfy this longing in me to be a photographer. hehehe. I hope my pieces will be much appreciated.







I was chatting with some friends online. At times, we would run out of words that we bottle ourselves with emoticons and winks. These very expressive icons have truly helped us express how we missed each other.

I remember, my MSU classmates/friends and I used to talk all they long, sleep beside each other, sit beside each other silently that silence would speak for itself, walk in deep reflection, etc. This created a bond that up to now, we may run out of words like how it did 5 to 6 years ago, we know that we mean something through our facial expressions - smiles,nods, and winks.

Now, since we very seldom view ourselves on a web camera, we compliment our words with free emoticons and winks for messenger.
Cool Smileys & Winks

Wedding Prepration

Most if not all of my friends knew that I'm getting married. In preparation, we are really researching and documenting for cost savings deals. We have visited (sometimes I go by myself only) some places in the city, checked for giveaways, talked with photo-video wedding pros, canvassed for wedding rings, and started designing our wedding invitation. For now, things or plans are yet on papers. Still looking for great deals.

Chatting with our pets

This easter season, I chatted with my ate keket and kuya kokot (see our names..hhehehhe..our parents were playing with sounds I guess..haahaha). While chatting with ate keket our dog Harikro insisted to play with me, so ate saw him on cam. She said he's very cute and cuddly, so she got her cat, too. I forgot the name. It reminds me of the cats in iligan, there was tane, moning, and etc.hehehehe..

Ate keket took this picture. How we wish someday the two animals will meet each other, too (seems so impossible). Take note, this cat understands the english language only.hehehehe so, while we voice chatted in bisaya, she spoke to her in english. sosyal ka yata ming. heheheh

I Live in a Developing Country (Part 2)





If she may speak:
I am just me.
I work for the peoples' health.
My strength is not in my physical attributes,
but in my passion to bring change
for my children, my children's children, and their fruits thereof.
How about you?

I Live in a Developing Country (Part 1)

Government employees and public servants are expected to work in "people-first" attitude.
This tag can be seen anywhere in the country and it's more than a decade campaign out of the culture of proscratinating and prolonging public/individual requests in government offices.


Development workers help communities develop a good plan (maayong plano) via 9S, SWOT, Problem Tree Analysis, Pair-Wise Ranking, among other participatory approaches.
Communities must move past the traditional day-dreamt plans, dictated projects, emotion-driven non-sustainable initiatives, among other politically-motivated seconds click projects.
Unless plans are gone through participatory/consultative approaches, communities will still be facing a bleak future.

Should our leaders stand for what they promised; should they perform their duties well and the tasks expected of them; should they think of their people ahead of their vested and selfish interests; should they craft and act upon appropriate and best plans; should the people humble themselves and call upon heaven; this child, his child, and the children to come will surely have more of what they need and even of what they want.

Blogger Friendship Award

Pweeeww.. This is my first friendship award! Phebie gave this to me few days ago. I was just not able to post this immediately because I had 2 field works and documentations, which I needed to attend first. Anyways, here it is:
I would like to forward this award by nominating 7 blogger-friends:
Phebie of loveshaven
Tonton of republikaneri
The rules are so easy:
1. Place the logo / banner on your blog.
2. Add a link to the blog who gave the award.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Add links to the blogs that you have nominated.
5. Let them know by leaving a message (shout) on their blogs.

Dolphin Bubbles

How does a Dolphin Bubbles? Have you actually seen one? If not, check this out:

dolphin bubbles

Let's keep the green!

Let's go green! Let's continue saving the earth! Let us be aware that the march 28 earth hour was just a general celebration for the earth. The campaign doesn't end their. The advocacy is not just a 60-minute reality. Let's keep on! Why?

People around the globe produces greenhouse gases daily. The intelligence of human race has produced technologies which created unprecedented circumstances. As such, we are no longer living with our interest (in financial terms), we are now consuming our capital. This less we have, let's be better stewards.

In some parts of the world, they institute carbon sink incentives. Some states pay to people who plant trees because carbon sinks in leaves, twigs, branches, and in other parts ofa tree. Other countries have Carbon Advice Group. This group checks, monitors, analyzes, and translates into layman's term carbon impacts from human-generated emissions; from which they create as well advice to individuals, businesses, the government, among others.

What about us? It's good to know though that we ranked 1st around the world in the march 28 earth hour campaign.

Let's keep the green! How about calculating your impact?
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The Day Today

The entire day I just stayed at home. I woke up late, eaten late, and everything late. Then, I played with my Harikro and logged in to my notebook.

The people around me are in their own busy-ness. My mama was busy texting her friends and my siblings. At lunch she was joined by her close friend - wedding godmother. At late afternoon, Lando, a blind masseur, reported for mama's weekly therapeutic massage with him.

Deslie, my cousin, was busy texting, too, while looking after mama's errands and requests. Abnil was busy cleaning the house and with papang's assignments for him. Lyn washed our clothes and cooked our food. Papang went to his scheduled appointments. He went to our farm, too, along with a man who will soon look after our fruit trees.

We seemed rich, huh. Yes, we are in God's site. Honestly, we have lots. Kinda lots of little lots. hehehehe.. But we dont have money to develop them.hahahaha

It's getting dark now and I have not taken my bath yet for the day. hahahaha.. gotta go now!

Happy Birthday BA

It's 11:53PM on my clock. 7 minutes from now, my yaBA (palangga - the person I care a lot) will be a year older.

For almost 4 years now in the relationship, I have not written so much about him, just bits and pieces in some of my topics. In fact, in my posts, I seldom include him. This is because I am not so expressive (in words) of my love and of my feelings. I would rather put my words into actions, otherwise, I may just be playing around rhetorics.

Heaven knows, this man is so special to me and I value him a lot. Yes, I love him.

God bless u BA! Happy Birthday!

My Father's Dream

The ultimate dream of my father for me is that I'd be a lawyer. He chose me because I talk him back with reasons and that I always reason out in almost all things. He chose me because I was well trained in public speaking since elementary. He chose me because I am some kind of a political person.

I did entertain enrolling at Law school eight years ago; however, the debates I joined discouraged me. In those instances, I had many sleepless nights thatI asked myself "why should I suffer this hard?" My reflections pulled me out from my father's dream.

2008 Bar Exam Results

My sister matut asked me to search the net whether her friends passed the 2008 Philippine Bar Examination. One of the 2 names she texted me passed, while the other failed. After giving the answer of her request, I then checked if my college classmate passed; unfortunately, he did not.

Anyway, I am glad to know that on the 2nd top is an MSUan. Congratulations!

Below are links of the 2008 Philippine Bar Exam Results:

Top 10 Bar Passers
http://mb.com.ph/articles/201355/1310-pass-2008-bar-exams
  1. Lardizabal, Judy A. - San Sebastian College, 85.70%
  2. Amerol-Macumbal, Mylene I. - Mindanao State University, 85.65%
  3. Baclay, Jr., Oliver P. - Ateneo de Manila University, 85.60%
  4. Jala, Majesty Eve L. - Ateneo de Manila University, 85.55%
  5. Liceralde, Ma. Elizabeth L. - University of the Philippines, 85.40%
  6. Macapagal, Micael T. - University of the Philippines, 84.15%
  7. Dy, Denise S. - Ateneo de Manila University, Regis, April Love C. - Ateneo de Manila University, 84.00%
  8. Tan, Christine Joy K. - Ateneo de Manila University, 83.80%
  9. Jacob, Jihan A. - San Beda College, Velasquez, Shirley G. - University of the Philippines, 83.75%
  10. Raymundo, Vanessa C. - San Beda College, 83.70%
Bar Passers
http://mb.com.ph/files/bar/results.html

Congratulations to our new lawyers!

I Love Poetry, Too


I love poems and I love composing one. I love reading them; reading them aloud. I even love recording my voice while reading them in a soft musical score.


At times when I'm angry, I compose one. When I'm so down and if I may express myself, I do it through writing poems. And, when I do one, I see to it that no one understands it prima facie so that I will not be emitting negative energies at all. Yes, I do it in a way that the reader has yet to transcend. hehehehe

Return to Painting


It's been almost 4 years now that I no longer paint. I Used to paint my imaginations on illustration boards, sketch pads, and clean paper. I used to paint portraits, landscapes, and still life. Just to finish one, I wouldn't sleep all night. And, I loved my finished works although I see imperfections in them.

This is my first framed painting. I drew this in 1996 when our drafting teacher assigned us to do so. I only received a grade of 95% on this because some of the tinting and the shading are technically incorrect. Anyhow, I am happy having produced this masterpiece.
I had more paintings after this, but I gave most of them away.
Now, I really longed to return to painting again.

Who Taught You to Save?


My Ate Keket taught me to save. She was such a thrifty girl. Back in elementary, she told me to spare some peso and not to go too much on recess so I could buy what I want. As I looked at her stuff, true enough, she had lots of nice stuffs and sweet-smelling stationeries. In high school, she would save money so she could go and watch movie with her classmates because we were sure mama wouldn't give us some peso for that. In college, she was a scholar. There was once that she went home, she brought me t-shirt and a watch. I remember I was very happy then. Those were fruits of her savings.

My Ate Keket was not an accounting student. She never had any accounting classes unlike me, but she practiced proper accounting. I remember the moment when she told me "you must not waste money because we are not rich. Mama and papang do not have enough money for us." I never realized the significance of savings not until I received my own salary. Then, I realized that I need to spend wisely for all the tomorrows to come.

Are We Really Heading to the Great Depression?

It seems like people, especially in the US, are looking forward to the great depression. People are looking back to the 1929 recession that hyped up in 1933, which effected to the great depression.
During the first quarter of this year, a lot of giant companies cut off budgets, withdrew investments, closed accounts, and the like. There was recession indeed. If this wouldn't stop by 4th quarter, if this moves on to the succeeding years, there will definitely be another great depression. Let's just pray that the US will not resort to war anymore as it did in history.
God intervene in the lives of men. God bless America!

My Worst Driving Experience

Yesterday, I got my worst driving experience ever.

My father asked me to drive him to our farm to check an animal. He asked me if I could drive rough roads, I told him I can. While driving, he told me that we'd pass by the mountainous portion of the barangay (greater than a village) where we live. In all confidence, I climb the car at 4th gear, then changed to 3rd gear, then to 2nd gear, and finally 1st gear. Because the slopy road was too rough, I had to carefully choose paths but the car shoot at one shallow hole. So, I moved the car back to a better road not using the rear gear, just at the neutral state and the break. Unfortunately, the car moved all the way down. All the breaks were full already but it still did not stop. Papang told me to turn to 1st gear, I did; still it did not stop. Down the road were other multicabs and bystanders. Papang manuevered the steering wheel for me (I called the name of Jesus to protect us and the people around from danger). He chose to bump the car before a barrier to stop it. People around came near us. There were drivers, too, and the bystanders. They asked us what happened. We explained. I guess there there 9 men who came nearer, the rest stayed at a distance. These men offered help. They lifted the car because it hanged already by the barrier through the deferential. We realized that if the car still did not stop despite the barrier, we could have swift sideways by it, and that would for the greatest danger for us.

God saved us! Papang heard me prayed, he said. I did not panic, instead I prayed. He did not panic, too, he told me he prayed, too, while manuevering the steering wheel.

Truly, I owe God my life. We owe God our lives.

Praise Him all the earth!

Our Plan

If this is part of God's plan, after JICA, I'll take the Mombusho Scholarship of Japan. If I could bring my BA their, I will, I hope I could find a package on this. He may work their while I study. After 2 years, we will go back to the Philippines, keep investing at the same time serve as part-time teacher at XU, or CU, LdCU, MUST, or COC. Part-time because I want to work on missions, too. Teaching, as I projected it, shall help me establish networks, shall give me additional income which in a way may finance some community works and outreach programs. BA may by then be better in business, so we could help more communities and more people and even go short-term cross-cultural missions.

Our ultimate dream really is to be able to establish a missionary-sending business enterprise. In this way, we see ourselves as truly free on earth for heaven; literally free since we'll be owning our time by then, since we'll be doing the things we love to do (both of us loves business and travels; both of us loves technology and mechanics; both of us loves God), and absolutely free to serve God.

God is a best friend, we both know that if this is apart of His plan, He will surely provide us ways such that we could truly say we are fulfilled Christians.

Scholarships

My ate is a scholar eversince college, probably even elementary and high school if there were. After college, she received a free training in Netherlands. After which, she was granted a scholarship in Belgium. Having graduated Master of Science in Nematology with the highest honor in Ghent University, she was again granted another scholarship. Canada this time at the university of Manitoba, where she studies Master of Science in Soil Ecology.

As a scholar, she is at the same time a researcher and a scientist. She works with scientists in the arctic. Yes, the arctic, and she has seen polar bears which she used to see in books and in televisions. As scholar, she was afforded the opportunity to travel, if I may remember, places like Italy/Rome, Spain, Germany, Sweden, Netherlands, Belgium, Japan, Singapore, Canada, France, Paris, London, Venice, and the Philippines (hahahaha). Yeah, she had been to the historic sites of these places. It was made possible, aside from her thriftiness, by generous filipinos she met in Europe. She's blessed with friends like them.

I was never attracted to scholarships, not until I joined XU graduation where I saw different sorts of toga. I did wish, I have one like that of Fr. Jett.hehehehe

So, I told my ate that I am now convinced of taking a masters degree abroad as she had long been inviting and persuading me. She told me that she'll give me sites and online forms but I have found them myself online. Now, I am receiving scholarship updates from around the globe. And, as desired long time ago, I want to take the Mombusho scholarship of the government of Japan. I guess, after my term with JICA (Japan International Cooperation Agency) I will qualify as a scholar in Japan (If God wills it).

(If you are interested on scholarships, let me know, and we'll ask help from ate keket.)

Blogging

Yes, I am making overtime on this as I aimed at being approved by socialspark among other advertisers perhaps. I will post as much as I can today. I am sure of the fact that I can really do 20 post a day.
I have a lot of things in time that's why I am pretty sure that I can write just about anything, although I desired of having a concentrated blog. I'm thinking of focusing on environment, perhaps I could share more about this aside from sharing my faith and my Christian walk.
I just realized that I write longer paragraphs. I must limit my post so as to give enough time to other topics. I was browsing at other blogs and I guess I have gathered some techniques. Next to this, I will work on my traffic. By then, my blog will be accepted or approved by socialspark, text link ads, and other ad links.

Friends


These are few of my daily companions at XU. We are thankful that at last felix has graduated. May he be blessed with a good job and more better opportunities in life.
More power Felix, so as John and Christian who will be juniors in the coming academic year.
Ia took this picture. God bless ur senior year ia. Study well manghud.

Magis Awards


Magis is a common term for ateneans. It means "for more, for better, or never settle for less". Xavier University(XU) Magis Awards usually takes place in March. This year, XU had it last March 17 at the Student Center Lobby.


Recipients of the awards were those who have given their best as student leader, council, or organization. I am glad I was part of the review and recognition committee.

Driving

At the age of 14 I guess, we had a small car and we used to call it tarak-tarak. It was perhaps because the color was yellow, it was very small, the design was unusual like I have never ever seen a car such as that; not even now that it's gone already. Unique as it was, that was the first car I was able to ran. Well, making the car run was easy and having it stop was much easier (that it fully stopped and turned off..hahahah). But, how I wish driving is as easy as that (I was driving in a very open field then).
Last year, I had to master driving because riding a taxi was and is very expensive. We had to hire a taxi or borrow a multicab driver to bring mama to the hospital or the stroke rehabilitation clinic more than twice a week. It was very expensive of course. It was either we minimize going to the clinic or I drive the multicab for us. The first choice was feasible so we did it and I enrolled at driving school so to master the technicalities and principles of driving. After 5 days, I was able to drive busy streets, although I still struggled with uphill driving. I hated it when motorela and other PUV drivers would suddenly stop while driving uphill just to load or unload passengers; some doesn't even have tail lights, back lights, and signal lights. tsk tsk tsk..
However, mama and papang pushed me to find a work so my degree wouldn't be wasted, besides I am not getting any younger and I definitely need one for my future's sake (esp. that I'm getting married). Actually, they pitied on me because I cut my VSO opportnity just to attend to mama. It was actually ok with me. hehehe..I was confident that God will give me a job whenever I need one. He did! When mama and papang told me to find a job, I got opportunities right away. God is gracious, indeed, and worthy of all praises!
So, this work thing, defeated the purpose of cutting the taxi expenses or driving mama to the clinic. Anyhow, God provided us din naman with all our needs. He met even our wants. I did save from daily travel expenses. Aside from the fact that my BA sends and fetches me to and from school everyday, I drive my way, too, when he couldn't make it and I drive the multicab when I love doing it.
Every driving moment was and is an experience. Every time I drive I learn new techniques and new ways and I enjoy it a lot. Every time I drive, I learn to communicate better with other drivers, I learn to read between the traffics, and I learn more about timing and proper orchestration of my feet, my hands, my ears, my eyes, among other senses. Certainly, I grow as a person because along the way, I learned a lot in as much as I realized so many things; that driving is not just about learning how to make the car run or stop. Driving is reality. I need to determine right timing, right pacing, right motions, appropriate signal giving, decision making, responsible driving, among others. Traffics taught me to wait than rush, which I might get into much trouble. I have become more responsible as a pedestrian as well because I know now how it feels to be driving in streets where people are crowding themselves seemingly unconscious of the street they're at.

Now that I am already 27 years old, I am still riding a cute tarak-tarak (as it may appear beside extravagant and vintage cars). It may just be a multicab, but two things are certain, I am a better driver now and I have a better citizen now.

My Night with TM Club of Macajalar Bay

I knew it very well that I'd be called for some roles.
Tonight, I was asked to call the meeting to order, to introduce the guests, and to count the "crutch" words during the educational meeting of Macajalar Bay Toastmasters Club.
Meeting by meeting I learn new things and I grow in confidence. I once thought that I can speak so much better in a crowd. But, gone are the days where thoughts just come easily into my head. Gone are the days where ideas just flow hastily in my mind. Gone are the days where words just come out from my mouth in their proper sounds and diction. Today, it seems like, words slip off my tongue and I cannot simply control my jaw that I miss the right pronunciation.
One thing I appeciate with toastmasters club is that I get constructive criticisms. The club understands that the reason why I join is that I want to develop my leadership and public speaking skills. And, true enough, meeting by meeting, I learn new things and I learn how to handle new roles because I accept tasks handed to me. I accept them not because I am confident of delivering them, but simply because I want to challenge myself; I want to know more about the role or the task; I want to assess myself as to how far can I be in taking roles. Meeting by meeting I have known myself and my capacity to lead and to speak. Indeed, meeting by meeting I grow up as a person.

Earth Hour in Cagayan de Oro

For two years now I have been participating in Earth Hour. Simply because I am cognizant to the domino effect of global warming.

Last year, I turned off the lights at home for one hour. This year, people at home did the same as well as our neighbors, while I was at Kiosko sa Kagawasan watching with XU people and other dignitaries in the city counting down for earth hour.

The celebration at Kiosko was stunned by the presence of Fr. Jett Villarin, SJ, an environmental scientist - President of Xavier Universty-Ateneo de Cagayan, Ms. Borje, the Undersecretary of Energy, CDO Mayor Tinnex Jaraula, Cong. Rufus Rodriguez, City Councilors, among others who watched the artistic performances of various artists from Cagayan de Oro, Iligan, and Camiguin. I think those thespian performances were directed by Mr. Hobart Savior, the Culture and Arts Director of Xavier University.

The countdown excited I guess everyone who wished to witness how dark the quest could bring on. At zero,there was significant darkness although it did not come out simultaneously. Jollibee-Divisoria, the nearest food chain, did not turn off everything for safety and security reasons of people eating inside, the manager told me. Street lights switched off a little later among other establishments.

Candles illumined the area while artistic performances went on.

As the 60-minute earth campaign came to a close, a shorter countdown took place and in a short while the program ended.

Counting my days again..

I am counting my days again. I have yet 4 more days to stay or report in XU. Yeah, I'd say goodbye to a permanent job. A decision that I deliberated well eversince I affixed my signature in XU.

I do remember all words spoken out last June when I was interviewed by three nice people from the Office of Student Affairs. I remember being asked, How do you see yourself 10 years from now? Looking up too high at the thought of being in an ateneo school, I did answer, Should I be accepted, I even see myself grow old here. Certainly, I had high expectations of.. well, practically, the pay among other benefits, set and just systems, better leadership considering that my leadership skill was well honed by this university, if I may recall my first and second years in college.

Looking back, I remember being taught by this university about changing unjust structures and not to profit from unjust structures. I was defined here, although I grew well in MSU. My leadership, principles, and paradigms were formed by the trainings I received when I was yet a sophomore. This thought excited me to join XU and much much more excited to be the Student Activities and Leadership Development Program Assistant.

In the job, I met a lot of people. Within 9 months, things went too hasty. A month after I started, I was afforded the opportunity to be with renowned and prominent people in the university. I thought it would end their. Later, a memo crossed with my name again in the execom. Meetings with university directors were at first a bizarre, as if I have never ever spoken yet with and in front of dignitaries; meeting by meeting, I realized that they are like me, too, subject to frailties. In fact, while working with them, there were days that I longed to not to have known them. I did ask while in one of those smothering hours, who would they be in my thoughts had I not worked with them (not all of them though)? Yet, knowing them is knowing myself as well. It was an opportunity to grow as a person and as a leader in my own ways.

I really appreciate the richness of my short stay. Students leaders in XU are so passionate to the point of losing themselves in the midst of their own system. They may be blemished by the jumbling of aggresiveness, naivity, and venturesome characteristics, I am happy that I grew with them and by them. I appreciate XU's desire of molding future leaders. I appreciate student leaders' authentic quest for Magis (for more).

More so, my own office, my boss, and our assistants, they are very nice friends, very thoughtful people, worthy to be called my friends. I am pretty sure that even after XU, we'll still be hanging out with each other. We have created a bond, so unique that I could and would look forward to still hang on with.

Yet, I have to move out of here. I must go simply for more personal growth and development. I know deep within that I would be happier if I work on things that I could do best. I am convinced that I can do more than the daily tasks I do in XU. While it is true that I did desire of going back to the academe, and that I was happy of joining XU; my head desires for more, more than the daily papers that I need to file, more than the daily proposals that I need to receive, and so much more than the daily talks and occasional leadership seminars that I need to attend. In principle, honestly, I am not growing in knowledge to contemporary leadership styles. While the world out there are busy training people for consensus and participatory approaches, and with contemporary leadership trends, my world here is still with the traditional and conventional boss-centered leadership.

(I will post soon another blog about leadership trends, which will include of course the traditional boss-centered leadership.)

Well, somehow I did grow in character like I have become more patient now, understanding, submissive (non-insistent anymore), and diplomatic. hehehe

Kaya, let me sip the soup while it's hot.

Stress

I would say I am stressed these days because it's physically manifested and I feel it, too. I am experiencing muscle aches, skin allergies, and blood spotting. I feel so tired, physically that I just want to sleep all day long. I wish to wake up late, yet I need to do otherwise because that has to be done. I want to do some other things worth the while, some other productive things, and simply just relaxing things. HHmmmm.. I would say that driving the whole day might do, like just enjoying the silent streets in the morning, appreciating the cool air on mid day, gazing at the stars at night without thinking of whatever tasks that are yet to be accomplished.

I simply just want to stop thinking about work and be free. Free thinking, That's what I wanna do. Free writing, such as this. Indeed, I am doing this now, but I am counting every seconds of writing here because I am suppose to finish one task that seems to never end. I just stole this time. This time that I am paid to work. Yet, this is not for anything, I guess, this will even help me become more productive. By writing this, I have expressed myself and at the same time listening from within and discarding the noises around. I so appreciate melancholic or desolate moods. I dont mean the sad and depressed moods. I mean just the moment of being uninhabited or emptied from the daily thoughts, concerns, and rushes. I would say, STILLNESS, that's it! Everyday I thirst for this and I would see myself crazy without this. Like few days ago, I literally cried because I had been rushing and pressed by some tasks. I wanted to take enough sleep but I can't and everytime I attend to the very task that I needed to finish, I lost for words. Tsk tsk tsk..

Well, it's up for now...

I'm a bit cooled again. Thanks blog!

Young and Now

Awhile ago, i was a bit nostalgic inside the office, cutting reservation forms and drafting some certificates. I thank God because i am no longer as i used to get too emotional thinking about what i'd been some 10 or 15 or 20 years ago. At times when the weather isn't too hot, i would remember myself playing jolin (marbles) with my siblings and childhood friends; i would remember the city central school play ground, where we used to play "football" as we popularly call it or sipa bola in bisaya; I would remember our manangs and manongs sharing some real and created stories; and, I would see myself drowning in melancholic mood.

Now, I have certainly accepted that the essence of life is growing up. Growing up in every facets of it. Like I am not always a kid, so I must cease to be a kid playing after class hours and all day during summer and weekends. I am no longer a teenager, so I must go away with unhealthy behaviors and attitudes. I am no longer in the past, so I must cease longing for what had been that will never be back. Things will never be back exactly as it had been. There may be resemblances definitely.

As a young woman, I appreciate everything I had been. I appreciate how the Lord honed the person in me. In my imperfection, I thank God at how He sat me off to become a responsible and discerning person. I appreciate my life after everything which God allowed to happen. I even appreciate the way I think, although I still need to develop a lot of thoughts, so much thoughts most especially for the ministry He is entrusting me.

As a young leader, I thank God for giving me opportunities in the past to lead other kids, to lead other students, and to facilitate communities and some statesmen.

As a young lady, I thank God for changing my boyish moves and for making me really accept the feminine me.

As a young lover, I thank God for giving me my compliment.

Talk 2 kokijar


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