When It Rains

It’s been raining these days and I don’t like it pour any longer; one, because it affects the bearing of mango trees in our farm. We don’t want to lose of course. Two, though I don’t like the hot of sunny days, it’s worse going out of the house when the rain doesn’t stop or pours even harder. It gets me wet no matter how my petite physique hides under an umbrella and I can’t get off from dirt that gets into my pants and my shoes, perhaps I just don’t know how to carry myself under the rain..hahahaha

I don’t know how it came into my system that every time it rains, I just can’t define my mood. I remember nothing but the loneliness I felt when I was 4. I wasn’t schooling yet then or I am not so sure if it was school days. I don’t even remember why of the 4 kids (pepet wasn’t born yet) I was the only one left. It must have been Docky and me if it was school days or perhaps, mama brought him to school because he was a very friendly, always smiling, jolly and jovial kid. Probably, it wasn’t summer because ate keket and kuya kokot weren’t there to play with me. I was left home with our manangs.

Strong rains were not inviting without my siblings to play with under the rain. Although we had our neighbors, but I was shy enough to invite them out. I was an introverted, bashful girl. I think I have developed confidence when I was 6, when our teacher in kindergarten asked us to read ABAKADAs and its sorts on the board and gladly, I made it excellently. It was nice knowing that I have an edge from my classmates. Hehehhe… Anyway, at 4, I didn’t have the talent of bringing our neighboring kids out to the rain. I wasn’t as friendly as ate keket. She was very smart, chatty, and very friendly. All our neighbors, young and old, couldn’t resist her cute and invented stories as well as her very inquisitive and “prophetic” personality. I always enjoy the rain with her and kuya. Both of them were playful enough to lead us and our neighbors to gira-gira, pusil-pusil, tago-tago or tibon-tibon or pinpin de sarapin, ps-ps, jolin, skipping rope, takyan, libon-libon, patintero, langit-lupa, balay-balay, bal-bal bal-bal, bahug-bahug, kon dise kum buko, chinese, halap-halap, 77 up, chinelas lata, tarak-tarak, exhibition sa ligid, taksi , among others, rain or shine. <> I used to always get deserted on rainy days without them. Rainy days were dull and dreary without my siblings.

Today’s rain fiercely dropped as it did when I was 4 and I feel the same degree of loneliness. Indeed, we’ve grown a lot older now and we are at an almost infinite distance away from each other, except with pepet, who is just 7 kilometers away, and docky, who is just two deep seas away. I don’t want to see the rain because all the more I would miss them. Surely, this loneliness will get more intense that I could burst in tears. Yet, I need to be strong. I need to be firm before everyone here in the house. Likewise, I need to grow a healthy paradigm out of the rain so that when it pours the hardest, I could enjoy it fall on my own.